


Love Letters of Convenience

by elissanerdwriter



Series: Critrole Relationships Week [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, critrole rsweek, platonic again because they're both gay and married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 03:39:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14968304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elissanerdwriter/pseuds/elissanerdwriter
Summary: “Listen, I need a favor.” Kima glanced at his hand and a grin flashed across her face. “I can see that you’re having some issues with admirers, and I am too. Now, I could beat him until he never comes near Westruun again, but I was enjoying this tavern and I’d like to be allowed back in.”He frowned, his eyes darting nervously to the man at the bar who was looking their way. “I’m… I’m flattered, milady, but really I’m not much of a fighter, though I know my physique might lead you to believe otherwise.”Kima snorted. “Believe me, your physique led me to believe nothing but that you don’t get out a lot. My proposal is: I’m married, you’re married, what do you say we pretend it’s to each other for a little while?”She quickly clocked the horror that flashed across his face and said firmly, “You don’t have to worry about that from me. You’re not my type as much as I’m not yours. I’ll just sit over here, I’ll touch your hand every once in a while, you’ll buy my drinks, we’ll both flash our rings every once in a while, and we both get to work in peace.”Taryon’s gaze was still wary, but he relaxed back into his seat and started scanning his papers again. “Whatever you say, dear.”





	Love Letters of Convenience

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2 of Critical Role Relationships Week: Tary & Kima
> 
> Some spoilers for the end of the campaign, I guess. Completely happy ones, though, so we're all good :) all fluff here, just some bros helping each other out. Also the working title for this fic was gay/lesbian solidarity, so happy pride, y'all.

They only met once. In passing, in a busy tavern outside Westruun, both busy planning and organizing and adventuring. They were both somewhat legendary at this point, for their exploits alone and with the famed Vox Machina, and as such both were having some difficulty in their work. By the fireplace, the human man with impressive blond hair and a mustache was fending off a number of swooning romantic fans of his first book (and apparently of him), instructing his large mechanical companion to stand guard over him while he frantically polished a draft he was bringing to a publisher in Westruun the next day. At the bar, the tiny halfling woman took a swig of her beer and made an actual snarling noise at a man who refused to stop asking after her romantic prospects. She stood, grabbed the map and letters she was looking through and her beer, and started through the crowd away from him, flipping both her left middle and ring fingers over her shoulder at him.

She shooed off the small gaggle of women around the writer and sank into the other seat at his table, startling him. The robot turned to her, looming as it prepared to defend its master as best it could. The man opened his mouth to chide her, but his gaze took in the scar through her eye and the holy symbol hanging around her neck and his expression changed abruptly.

“Doty, stand down. Lady Kima! Oh, it’s a pleasure, I’ve heard so much about you, Vox Machina speaks of you  _ so  _ highly—”

She waved him off, draining her beer quickly and leaning close to him to speak in a low voice. “Taryon Darrington, yes. The pleasure is mine, I guess. Listen, I need a favor.” Kima glanced at his hand and a grin flashed across her face. “I can see that you’re having some issues with admirers, and I am too. Now, I could beat him until he never comes near Westruun again, but I was enjoying this tavern and I’d like to be allowed back in.”

He frowned, his eyes darting nervously to the man at the bar who was looking their way. “I’m… I’m flattered, milady, but really I’m not much of a fighter, though I know my physique might lead you to believe otherwise.”

Kima snorted. “Believe me, your physique led me to believe nothing but that you don’t get out a lot.” Tary pouted, but she plowed over his protest. “My proposal is: I’m married, you’re married or engaged, what do you say we pretend it’s to each other for a little while?”

She quickly clocked the horror that flashed across his face and said firmly, “You don’t have to worry about that from me. You’re not my type as much as I’m not yours. I’ll just sit over here, I’ll touch your hand every once in a while, you’ll buy my drinks, we’ll both flash our rings every once in a while, and we both get to work in peace.”

Taryon’s gaze was still wary, but he relaxed back into his seat and started scanning his papers again. “Whatever you say, dear.”

Kima smirked and spread out her own materials. True to her plan, no one disturbed them for several hours; eventually the hearth had burned down to smoldering coals and Kima had gone through at least two more large beers, impressive for her small form. She had been slowly edging her chair around the table every time she got up to get another drink, and suddenly she nudged Tary in the side with an elbow that felt markedly unromantic, staring ata letter and a sheet full of scrawling handwriting in front of her. “Darrington. You’re a writer, right?”

He winced as subtly as he could manage, carefully reaching up to massage his ribs. “I certainly do consider myself to be of that persuasion, yes.”

“Great. My—” She scanned their vicinity surreptitiously. “My wife sent me a letter last week, and I’ve been trying to write back since then. I’m going to be away for another month, so I want it to be good. But she’s so good at words and I’m just really… not.”

Tary’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I can certainly assist you! I will help you craft the most beautiful, poetic love letter the world has ever read. She will save it and pass it down to her children— or nephews and nieces, or whoever. Anyways.” He coughed, embarrassed, and leaned closer to her. “What have you got so far?”

She chewed on the end of her quill, rereading her work. “ ‘My dearest Allura, I wish I could be with you right now. I’m trying to get drunk and a man was harassing me, so everything would just be better if you were here.’ ”

Tary nodded encouragingly. “That’s a good start! What else would you like to say?”

“Something along the lines of, ‘Here are all the reasons you’re powerful, hot, and lovable. And here are all the things I’d do to you if I were home.’ That kind of thing.”

Tary’s face flushed. “Oh. Okay. Well… I can help you with part of that, at least. Here…”

By the time the barkeep was strolling around the room and making it clear it was time for the stragglers to move elsewhere, they had come up with a page and a half of prose that could pass as Kima’s personal thoughts, albeit a touch more flowery. Tary smiled proudly down at it as he stood and picked up his cloak. “I think she’ll love it.”

“She better,” Kima said, but her grumpiness was evidently habitual. “Thank you, Darrington. Where is your husband now?”

Tary’s expression softened and he gazed into the glowing embers of the fireplace, somewhat glad they’d dropped any pretense of a relationship. “Lawrence? He’s taking care of some of his own business at the moment, so I opted to do this leg of my tour on my own. I do regret it, but it’s taxing, being on the road constantly with such a revered companion. Not that he isn’t adored in his own right. He teaches classes in some of the towns we go to, to children who might not otherwise get any sort of formal education.”

Kima smirked a bit at the change in his egotistical tone. She raised her last mug to him as he picked up his nearly empty wine glass. “To spouses who are better loved than we are.”

Tary clinked his glass to hers without hesitation. “Yes, bless them.”

They both drained their glasses and parted ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! Just some happily married gays being happily married (not to each other). Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and you can find me on Tumblr @elissanerdwriter. The schedule for my generated pairings for the rest of the week is:  
> Sunday: Cassandra & Vax'ildan  
> Monday: Kima & Tary  
> Tuesday: Keyleth & Gilmore  
> Wednesday: Yasha & Molly  
> Thursday: Vex &/ Zahra  
> Friday: Zahra & Gilmore  
> Saturday: Pike & Trinket


End file.
